Painstakingly, due to recent broken knuckles and in general, hand, Jeff Stillwell rolled the worst cigarette ever. In fact, the cigarette was as gnarled as his newly demented fingers, nonetheless, it dangled on his bottom cracked dry lip, while strands of tobacco fell. He would soon discover that lighting the cigarette was impossible without the aid of healthy thumbs. The growing frustration was maddening. Upon deeper meditation, he thought this might be a good time to finally quit smoking.
For lent, Matt gave up karate, and by karate, he meant cigarettes, and replaced it with religion, and by religion, he meant beer. Even though his eyes darted furtively back and forth and back, going at least 120 mph, his knee bouncing, a hyperactive nervous tic, he was oddly silent. Jittering hands, his own, the humongous clock, an already opened fresh pack of Salem® in a lesser pale green box, insinuating less tar, and more flavor, back to the clock, the cat calendar on the wall, set to March. 28 days boldly marked out with a red ‘X’. Each successive ‘X’ larger, shakier and redder, the skittish medium-sized black and gold cat, named Dos Equis®, named, of course, after the most interesting man in the world™.
You could ask anyone, and they would all tell you that this is the brightest the sun has been in days. In truth, it was a blessing, like a solid yacht rock block in the middle of a vast sea of classic rock.
Scientists are prone to say many things, amongst them, “Mankind needs light and dark. Without the balance, society would descend into a chaos it has never seen before.”