As a full-fledged robotist, they all look alike and are an increasing strain on our society.
I was minding my own business, as in smoking a cigarette, loitering in front of Tootie’s, my neighborhood bar with a half a beer and a shot waiting for me, little would I realize I was about to change someone’s life.
“Do you know what else comes in threes? Your mother!”
Like the most overused record scratch in a movie advertisement, usually during James Brown’s “I Got You (I Feel Good),” it happened. Olive Ledbetter had fallen out of sync with her personal soundtrack, and it was ruining the movie, her life. A plot twist no one could have possibly expected, swarmed in, the like, which no one had ever seen before. So overtly true, it had to be fiction.
Like most Shakespearean tragedies, her plight arrived in three acts.
The First Church of Christ, Scientist, Christian Science Center, Boston, MA. When they say thoughts and prayers, they really mean it.
Erica Stone, Christian Scientist Extraordinaire exclaimed, “Eureka!” Her disheveled frizzy hair, runny nose, and bug eyes obscured behind thick lenses reinforced her mad doctor look. She nearly dropped a test tube filled with devotion, which in turn would have toppled over a row of test tubes labeled and filled with blind ambition and temperance. The white lab jacket draped over her small frame added a good fifteen pounds to her appearance.
Green mustaches are never a good idea, but this is the safest way to do it.
Nick O’Brien wore the handlebar mustache like an idiot wears a shit-eating grin, for no good reason. Since today was St. Patrick’s Day, he dyed it green. It would forever change and ruin his life.
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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