This hospital bed has lived a better life than 95% of North Korea.
Lee Strauser’s eyes opened, for the first time in a week; there was clarity. Lee uttered, “Aloha,” and proceeded to die in a matter of fact fashion. Due to congenital complications, rigor mortis was setting in quicker than expected.
Make no mistake about it, there is nothing lucky about Lucky Charms®, they should be called Slow Death Charms or Gateway To Obesity Charms.
As the words left his mouth, he knew he made a dreadful mistake, the kind that fucks you up for a long time. Matthew Marsdale tried to stop himself, but the cadence was too damn catchy. His fate was inevitable.
“Seriously? There’s no way anyone is gonna go by the name I Don’t Know. That’s so ludicrous, I can’t even talk to you anymore. Good day.”
Two astronomers stood beside an enormous telescope. For a very odd reason, they called each other the night before and decided they’d wear old-timey vaudeville costumes. The pudgy one, the shorter of the two said, “It’s whack how the universe is constantly changing. What with the discovery of new asteroids and the redefinition of Pluto. It’s hard to keep up.”
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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