“The Middle Thinking Out Loud” by ED SHEERAN Vs. JIMMY EAT WORLD

Jimmy Eat World - Ed Sheeran

Current president of the United States, Dim Donald Trump, not his Chinese counterpart, Dim Sum, is currently in Singapore negotiating with current dictator of North Korea, Clean Kim Jong-Un. I imagine two dogs intensely sniffing each others assholes for a minute, before the one with orange skin walks away, because he does not smell seriousness. The other one, with Caucasian-challenged eyes, is thankful he brought his personal toilet.

In the meantime, there is this mash up.

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“Careless Whisper From Somebody I Used To Know” by GOTYE FEATURING KIMBRA Vs. WHAM

Gotye - Wham
It is Sunday morning and I don’t want to be one of those preaching assholes, but here we go. Let us all turn to the book of James Brown 2:14. “Fellas, I’m ready to get up and do my thing. I wanna get into it, man, you know, like a, like a sex machine, man, movin’, doin’ it, you know. Can I count it off?”

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“Something Stupid Because I Got High” by AFROMAN Vs. ROBBIE WILLIAMS & NICOLE KIDMAN

Afroman - Robbie Williams
Here’s an idea for a movie. A remake of Freaky Friday, but instead of a mother and a daughter switching bodies, it’s the American president and a North Korean dictator. Oh wait, is that what’s happening in real life?

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“Mary Mary Get This Party Started” by P!NK Vs. THE MONKEES

Pink - Monkees
It’s funny and tragic all at once. I never thought I’d ever compare myself to the current president of the United States, Donald Trump, yet here I am comparing and hating myself. It appears that my words have become the Melanie Trump of this blog. Where the hell are they? Did they get a tragic facelift? Are they on the cusp of painful death because of something stupid I have done or said? Did they leave me for N.Y. or Virginia because I abused them? Was it all really just a benign kidney condition? Were my words poisoned by the Russians? All FAKE news, for if you look behind you and up, there are my words, and they are proudly looking down at us.

There is a very simple explanation. My words really enjoy their privacy, and we should respect that. They need time to heal. On that note, have you noticed that Melania’s left eye is now her right? For a better understanding of what may have happened to her, I refer you to NBC news anchor, Lester Holt.

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