Like plastic ferns in a waiting room, attractive and questionable.
Tony needed an easy ‘A’. I was transferring from OCC [Oakton Community College] to ISU [Illinois State University]. I needed to bump up Tony’s G.P.A. [Grade Point Average]. It was decided. I would enroll for ESL. How hard could this be? No prerequisite. I was already affluent [sic] in English. It was happening.
I had fallen. I could not get up. I was outside upon a sidewalk amidst an extreme polar vortex. I did not have the luxury of grabbing a shower curtain to slow my fall, not like that scary hag of a bad actress who falls in a bathtub and says, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up”™. At last, here is my comeuppance for mocking the elderly who depend on Life Alert®, America’s leading senior medical alert system. For reasons beyond my limited knowledge, the impact of the fall made me incapable of speech.
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Check out this creature! Fleetwood Mac provides the musical background. Listen to that steady competent drum work from Mick Fleetwood. Vocals are by Thom Yorke of Radiohead from a collaborative work with U.N.K.L.E. I’d like to dedicate this to all the brave groundhogs in America. Thank you for your service.
“Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! You are all about to die!”
The tiny village was in complete disarray. First, the peaceful villagers were overtaken by pillaging Huns, and let me tell you, these Huns were total dicks, they took all their food and women, leaving behind a tragic hungry sausage population. Second, nature, in the form of an unsympathetic typhoon devastated their homes. Finally, third, they were dimwitted.
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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