Crime And “Pun”ishment

George_III_(reigned_1760-1820)_by_Richard_Collins

This is King George III of the United Kingdom. He may have suffered from bipolar disorder.

Alexander the Mediocre was designated to a fate far worse than death. To be clear, he totally deserved it. Just one look at him, you could tell he was utter garbage. From the pretentious monocle to the poofy white powdered wig to the fake star-shaped birthmark above his lip to his fanciful walk to wearing too much ruffles.

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This Is What It Sounds Like When Turtles Cry

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The box turtle is the Pauly Shore of reptiles.

After clutching his chest, James “Jimmy” Jameson fell to the ground hard, his face, especially his right cheek taking the brunt. If his heart hadn’t seized the way it did, he would probably be more focused on his shattered face. Priorities.

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It Was Dire

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To avoid an epic idiot death, be on the look out for this sign.

It was a bad morning. Steve and Peg Braddock woke up in Cleveland. To make things worse, they decided to take a hike and ended up in quicksand. As would most in this situation, they struggled to get out, which only made them sink deeper and faster, until only their heads were bobbing atop. To say that they were desperate was like saying they were definitely going to die like this and in Cleveland. Their only consolation was the predicament had nothing to do with a selfie.

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Old Man Old Man

Old Man Old Man

In 2020, a nuclear war destroyed most of mankind. Old Man was one of the few survivors.

“I’m too old for this shit,” he muttered as he backhanded, or rather back fisted an alien across the face. The sheer force nearly severed the head clean off the neck. Yet, the fact of the matter remained, he muttered the truth. As for the punch, he was going to feel that and then some tomorrow morning if he lives that long.

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