If the penguins at the zoo seemed to be acting suspicious this morning, it was because they were. They were planning either a heist or a revolution leading to a coup, whichever occurred first. At the risk of sounding like a close-minded penguinist, it should be cited that all penguins are lazy. Happenstance dictates their behavior. Furthermore, they all look the same, smell like rotting fish and sponge off unemployment like nobody’s business.