Christmas Purgatory

Posted on January 21, 2018 by sungmokoo

800px-Christmas_tree_with_lots_of_presents_2

You are at the top of the stairs. You are eight years old, maybe nine, maybe even ten. You still believe in Santa Claus. You are transfixed on the Christmas tree downstairs, bursting pregnant with presents. You smell stale cigarette smoke. That’s okay, it’s the 60s; everyone smoked. You perspire and it smells like grape soda and kinda urine. That’s okay, everyone urinates. You descend one step at a time. Your heart is filled with joy and anticipation of opening the presents, shredding and tearing the wrapping paper, and of course, saving the bows.

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Did I Say This Is A Pathetic Christmas?

Posted on January 20, 2018 by sungmokoo

Her eyes were red, moist crimson to be more exact, which by Deidrah Barker’s standards indicates at least twenty minutes of steady crying, or twenty minutes of recovering from tear gas. The skin around her nose was raw and freshly chaffed, pores exposed, on the precipice of premature gin blossoms. It’s worth the extra twenty to seventy cents to go Kleenex® or Puffs®, after all, YOLO.

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Tonight I’m Going To Party Like It’s Christmas In ‘99

Posted on January 19, 2018 by sungmokoo

Bill_and_Hillary_Clinton_Christmas_Portrait_1999_(cropped1)

Further proof of Christmas in 1999.

Christmas came and went like so many empty calories on the sweatiest day of my life. In the blink of a Korean eye, which everyone knows is a nanosecond shorter than other ethnic blinks. You know, because of the proximity of eyelids in that near perma-squint, which some racists call slants. All I’m saying is that a door half-closed shuts faster than a door wide open.

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“Supernova” [A Remix]

Posted on January 18, 2018 by sungmokoo

Donye 2020

In this post-truth world, nothing shocks me anymore. Fall Out Boy is looking more like Fall Out Middle Aged Man; America’s current president, Donald Trump, claims his favorite porno laser disc is allegedly Yellow Rain. All this tripe aside, I was truly provoked by the number of times I heard the word shithole last week, and that’s impressive since I lived next door to a wellness center for eight years. And now, a remix of “Supernova” by Mr. Hudson featuring Kanye West.

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