Fan Fiction with Batman and a Pop Daffynition


It was Christmas in Gotham City. Batman crawled out of a sewer covered with who knows what. He was ripe. He needed a two-day shower. He muttered, “Shit always happens on Christmas.” He knew the rules of vigilantism. Crime never takes a holiday. Crime never acknowledges the calendar. He knew that was wrong. There’s the Calendar Man.

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America and a Pop Daffynition

America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci. Ohio named their state capitol after Christopher Columbus. America was named after the ‘70s band of the same name. America invented cheese and nonchalantly named it American cheese. America is so many things to so many people. That is why America is so great. America is the Chuck Norris of action heroes. The absolute best.

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Roxy Music and a Pop Music Daffynition

It is hard to believe that the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame[sic] has not recognized the musical genius of Roxy Music. I am appalled, but I suppose it’s expected. The committee that decides who are inducted are small-minded, petty, no-talented hacks, consisting of more than 900 historians, members of the music industry and artists—including every living Rock Hall inductee. I point my finger of blame on the 900 historians and members of the music industry, they are so idiotic, they are constant in being an asshole. I could go on and on about how mentally challenged they are, but here’s the proof, here’s the pudding. Journey is in, Roxy Music and Brian Eno are not.


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