P Is For Piano Mystery


I have spent many hours, even weeks wondering about the homophones penis and pianist. Was it done on purpose?

His face soured, because he was severely rankled. He discovered an “obvious” pubic hair on his piano. Dick Petersen Skrotumsky was a world-renowned classical pianist. It was no coincidence that he had a figurative Dick face, in that he had a long dangling nose and his puffed jowls looked like balls. To top it off, he demonstrated over and over again, he was a dick.

Continue reading

2020: The Year, Not The ABC News Variety Show, Nor Perfect Vision

We are three years away from the much-anticipated Year of the Rat. The year 2020 promises prosperity and answers to the age-long mystery: Why? According to the Chinese, give the round eyes more sweet and sour sauce packets and make them beg for the hot mustard. Yet, as profound as the Chinese profess to be, that is not the answer.

In order to answer a question correctly, a question must first be formulated. Duh. The question at hand is simple: Why the year of the rat?

Continue reading