As Sure As I Am Killer Brick, Aquaman® Will Die And Die Again Part 2

Previously:

Greed Personified Strip.jpg

And now:

Aquaman Deep In Thought

Aquaman’s® ears were burning. Someone or some people were talking about him.

There I was, standing before my criminal peers, as well as the bosses, the dons, the capos, the crime lords, the masterminds, and the world conquerors. My objective is to convince them that I am most worthy to kill our greatest enemy, Aquaman®. I had to call upon all the eloquence Mama Killer Brick taught me. I had to call upon the conviction of every pastor and rabbi I had ever mugged. I don’t want to come off entitled, but my hatred for Aquaman® was humongous. So humongous, there is no term yet invented. If I had to invent that word, gazillious or googolnormous.

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As Sure As I Am Killer Brick, Aquaman® Will Die And Die Again

aquaman throws a polar bear.jpg

Artist’s rendering of tragic events at The Unhappy Hunting Grounds, circa 1942.

“In conclusion, that is why I believe I bear the right to kill Aquaman®.” After a detailed thirteen-minute Power Point® presentation of how Aquaman® savagely killed his brothers and father by throwing a hungry polar bear at them. The clutch-your-heart-and-squeeze moment came while the gory close-ups of the deceased faded and swiped into each other, while Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” played. Heartstrings tugged successfully and there was not one dry eye in the house. Pretty good, considering the hall was filled with at least 200 cold-hearted criminals.

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English As A Second Language

Like plastic ferns in a waiting room, attractive and questionable

Like plastic ferns in a waiting room, attractive and questionable.

Tony needed an easy ‘A’. I was transferring from OCC [Oakton Community College] to ISU [Illinois State University]. I needed to bump up Tony’s G.P.A. [Grade Point Average]. It was decided. I would enroll for ESL. How hard could this be? No prerequisite. I was already affluent [sic] in English. It was happening.

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Permit For Falling

Peanuts fallen can't get up

I had fallen. I could not get up. I was outside upon a sidewalk amidst an extreme polar vortex. I did not have the luxury of grabbing a shower curtain to slow my fall, not like that scary hag of a bad actress who falls in a bathtub and says, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up”™. At last, here is my comeuppance for mocking the elderly who depend on Life Alert®, America’s leading senior medical alert system. For reasons beyond my limited knowledge, the impact of the fall made me incapable of speech.
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