Did you know giraffes are the only animals better off living in a zoo?
I hate everything about the zoo. I’m never at ease at how I’m supposed to feel. Guilty? Superior? Hungry? Any way, it’s safe to say, it sucks to be an animal in a zoo. It’s like being 20 years old and placed in an old people’s home. To make things worse, like an old people’s home, it smells like savage piss and poo.
Artist’s rendering of a different race.
The tortoise crossed the finish line, winning the big race, in perhaps, the greatest upset of all time, excluding the ’85 Chicago Bears loss to the Washington Generals. It was debauchery to the nth degree, yet pure digression.
“Beware the red herring,” were her final words. She died with her eyes wide open as if she saw an oncoming car.
Dan Felder, an EMT for the last eight months, went through the motions of checking her vitals, knowing full well the truth. He slowly pulled the sheet over her deformed face. “What the hell did that mean?”
Bob Birch, not Peter Donnelly.
Peter Donnelly could not take another bite, yet he did. But honestly, how could he not take another nibble of the most succulent roasted pig cheek? It was a fatal mistake. His life flashed before him. There was a glitch, and it played over and over the last three years of his life as the bassist in an Elton John tribute band. Sadly, he was not hired for his musical skills, but because of his likeness to Bob Birch, Elton John’s current touring bassist.
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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