About sungmokoo

I am a native of Chicagoland. I am old enough to know better. I am good with that.

Regrets And Debts

Posted on April 18, 2019 by sungmokoo

“The John Deere® tractor? You brought her!” He laughed whole-heartedly while everyone else just stared, slack-jawed, slowly backing away.

In that precise moment, Baxter Hicks realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was not his undeniable death after trying to push a tractor up a steep hill in a snowstorm. Nor was it the bright idea to drive the tractor home from the bar after six or nine shots of tequila. It was not letting cabin fever get the best of him. It was not the cocaine mostly cut with baby laxative he bought from his shit for morals neighbor. It was not the mild diarrhea.

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P Is For Piano Mystery

Posted on April 17, 2019 by sungmokoo

I have spent many hours, even weeks wondering about the homophones penis and pianist. Was it done on purpose?

His face soured, because he was severely rankled. He discovered an “obvious” pubic hair on his piano. Dick Petersen Skrotumsky was a world-renowned classical pianist. It was no coincidence that he had a figurative Dick face, in that he had a long dangling nose and his puffed jowls looked like balls. To top it off, he demonstrated over and over again, he was a dick.

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New Truth In Advertising

Posted on April 16, 2019 by sungmokoo

Before we knew that big tobacco purposely made their cigarettes highly addictive, we were mostly worried about emphysema.

There are new warning labels on cigarette packs. This is what it says:

A Federal Court has ordered Lorillard, Altria, Philip Morris USA, and R.J. Reynolds Tobacco (the previous maker of Winston) to make this statement about the addictiveness of smoking and nicotine.

Smoking is highly addictive. Nicotine is the addictive drug in tobacco.
Cigarette companies intentionally designed cigarettes with enough nicotine to create and sustain addiction.
It’s not easy to quit.
When you smoke, the nicotine actually changes the brain – that’s why quitting is so hard

What is more important is what this “doesn’t” say. James Dean looked cool when he smoked. He controlled his destiny by choosing the technique of slow suicide. Even though, ultimately, he supported “the man”, he still defied “the man” by using “the man’s” product. In the end, he showed them what’s what by dying in a fiery car crash.

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