“Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! You are all about to die!”
The tiny village was in complete disarray. First, the peaceful villagers were overtaken by pillaging Huns, and let me tell you, these Huns were total dicks, they took all their food and women, leaving behind a tragic hungry sausage population. Second, nature, in the form of an unsympathetic typhoon devastated their homes. Finally, third, they were dimwitted.
In the hustle and bustle of the city, Fisherman was a genuine urban crime fighter. Originally, he was a criminal, but his great dislike for losing changed his career path. His moniker was purposefully misleading. FACT: Bruce Dobbs was a fisherman, not professionally, but enough to call it more than a hobby. FACT: Dobbs was a persistent scrapper; he will, without hesitation, bite your nose off if you had a suspicious sneeze. FACT: He confounded his enemies by not using gimmicks or powers related to fish in any way, although his attire was all about fishing. He used guns. Every once in awhile, he would toss in a fish pun in his repertoire of “witty banter”. Things like “I do it for the halibut”, “Barricuda? You brought her?!”, and “Sorry for being so shellfish, here, have some of my fist, followed by a stream of bullets.” Later, he would give up the “witty banter”. So much of it got lost under the harsh repetitive rat-a-tat of his machine gun fire.
Artist’s rendering of a different race.
The tortoise crossed the finish line, winning the big race, in perhaps, the greatest upset of all time, excluding the ’85 Chicago Bears loss to the Washington Generals. It was debauchery to the nth degree, yet pure digression.
Only two animals were harmed during the making of this picture.
Two baby birds were screaming bloody murder from their nest high up in the tree. It was a mess, embryonic goo and eggshells all over the place. It smelled pretty funky too, dried twigs and bird droppings. One unhatched egg sat between them. [SAD STORY, SPOILER ALERT: That egg is never going to hatch, which is sad. It could’ve been the bird that saved humanity as we know it.]
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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