Something I never want to see, but probably will…

Posted on February 9, 2018 by sungmokoo

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Dewey, Bill Yu and Howe. “Not only are we lawyers, we are clients.”

Men. Have you or any other man you know, been accused of improper sexual advances in the workplace? Are you unable to control your violent temper with your girlfriend/wife/any female? Were you forced to resign from a high paying job, only to be further embarrassed because fellow employees found out about your tragic erectile dysfunction and the following bemoaning text messages? We hear you, and we empathize. Call us. We’re Dewey, Bill Yu and Howe®. Call now. 1-888-ME THREE™, 1-888-ME THREE™. The best defense is a good offense Our motto is “Blame or be blamed.” We are here to help you fight for your rights.

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As Sure As I Am Killer Brick, Aquaman® Will Die And Die Again Part 2

Posted on February 8, 2018 by sungmokoo

Previously:

Greed Personified Strip.jpg

And now:

Aquaman’s® ears were burning. Someone or some people were talking about him.

There I was, standing before my criminal peers, as well as the bosses, the dons, the capos, the crime lords, the masterminds, and the world conquerors. My objective is to convince them that I am most worthy to kill our greatest enemy, Aquaman®. I had to call upon all the eloquence Mama Killer Brick taught me. I had to call upon the conviction of every pastor and rabbi I had ever mugged. I don’t want to come off entitled, but my hatred for Aquaman® was humongous. So humongous, there is no term yet invented. If I had to invent that word, gazillious or googolnormous.

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As Sure As I Am Killer Brick, Aquaman® Will Die And Die Again

Posted on February 7, 2018 by sungmokoo

Artist’s rendering of tragic events at The Unhappy Hunting Grounds, circa 1942.

“In conclusion, that is why I believe I bear the right to kill Aquaman®.” After a detailed thirteen-minute Power Point® presentation of how Aquaman® savagely killed his brothers and father by throwing a hungry polar bear at them. The clutch-your-heart-and-squeeze moment came while the gory close-ups of the deceased faded and swiped into each other, while Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” played. Heartstrings tugged successfully and there was not one dry eye in the house. Pretty good, considering the hall was filled with at least 200 cold-hearted criminals.

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English As A Second Language

Posted on February 6, 2018 by sungmokoo

Like plastic ferns in a waiting room, attractive and questionable.

Tony needed an easy ‘A’. I was transferring from OCC [Oakton Community College] to ISU [Illinois State University]. I needed to bump up Tony’s G.P.A. [Grade Point Average]. It was decided. I would enroll for ESL. How hard could this be? No prerequisite. I was already affluent [sic] in English. It was happening.

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