Fold This

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America’s version of origami. Notice the overt laziness and lack of detail. It is said that American art has become more clumsy, and less inspirational, more obese, and less health conscious. This is what happens when you fix everything with duct tape.

“It’s hotter than a fifteen man circle jerk in a poorly ventilated makeshift coatroom.” Oscar fanned himself with a folded up newspaper. It was very efficient, because it was constructed properly.

 

The secret to a good paper fan is to put in as many tight folds as you possibly can, the closer the better. This takes time and patience. You’re looking for firmness, as opposed to flimsy. As is true with all things, integrity is your best friend. Oscar’s hand held fan had over seventy-five pleats, and when dry, it can support an empty pint glass, or something of equal weight, 5.3 oz., like a medium sized robin.

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This Is Not A Good Time, Not A Good Time

Mijn_Pop-uprestaurant_-_Aalst

Pop-up restaurants are like pop-up books, once you’ve seen one, they’re all pretty stupid.

Taking advantage of the uncomfortable silence, Raina Lott stepped forward and spoke; softly, but with a steady confidence. “I killed Helen last night.”

If memory served her correctly, which it did not, she faultily recalled that admission of guilt is best divulged to one’s peers at mandatory work-related events, which this was. It was a grand opening party for the pop-up restaurant she just started working at.

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Putting The Pubic Back In Public

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In a world of many Clarence Thomas’s, this one is the most famous.

Clarence Thomas was not quite right. Mildly put, he was touched in the head, or more appropriate, punched in the head. Unlike his namesake, the Associate Justice of the Supreme Court one, he was white, privileged for all the wrong reasons and grossly obese; but like his namesake, he liked to speak candidly and often about pubic hair, beginning every conversation with, “Who has put pubic hair on my Coke®?” Even whilst holding a can of Sprite® or Orange Crush®! Outrageous.

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Science Science, Everywhere A Science

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IMHO, meditation, meh-ditation. In conclusion, eat me, meditation, eat me.

Just as a manual for better living prescribed, Joan Lung closed her eyes for as long as she could. With each deep inhale, she slowed down her heartbeat, and with each exhale, she ridded her body of persistent stress. In theory, like antibiotics remove bacteria or Lipitor® lowers cholesterol, it was sensible. Then again, modern medicine is more about liberal marketing propaganda than curing, so it’s actually dumbed down for the masses.

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