Doing Lunch

grim reaper chess

Many believe that if you avoid the grim reaper, you could live like “Fame,” as in “I’m gonna live forever.”

At the risk of inappropriate heavy handed foreshadowing, Deathy McDeatherman was attempting to eat a very dry ham sandwich on almost stale white bread. It was, as expected, bland. It needed something, a chicken taco. He took a long sip of overly carbonated cola through a soggy paper straw. He almost snorted something out of his nose, something big enough to have killed him. If he had known the imminent death he avoided, he would be grateful, instead he was merely annoyed and hungry for something else.

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Off The Cuff

A-New-Me

I am you as you are me and me am you and me and you make we, or them depending on which side of the bed you fall out of.

The new Anita Mann was in full swing. Gone was her old scripted stodgy self, and in was her new spontaneous and youthful self. No one had the heart to tell her it sucked, so she went with it, full on.

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That’s Tough

Andy_Capp

If Andy Capp and Flo were real, one or both of them would surely be dead from unnatural causes.

Looking at Peter Dixon, you would never be able to tell that he had just committed the perfect crime. His poker face was so good that you saw a shadow of a man showing the appropriate amount of sadness one would feel after the death of his wife.

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Ask McGruff

Recess_with_McGruff_the_Crime_Dog_120514-F-ND780-387
McGruff the Crime Dog is a bloodhound. He likes to wear a rumpled trench coat. Since July 1980, with the aid of the National Crime Prevention Council, he has increased crime awareness in the United States through millions of dollars worth of public service announcements. When he’s not answering your questions, he is a freelance crime fighter with Janeane Garofalo and Mark Ruffalo. Sometimes, they team up with San Francisco 49ers quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo.

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