Raise, Then Fold

Posted on March 26, 2019 by sungmokoo

To a smoker, a potential cigarette. To the same smoker without the use of hands, worthless.

Painstakingly, due to recent broken knuckles and in general, hand, Jeff Stillwell rolled the worst cigarette ever. In fact, the cigarette was as gnarled as his newly demented fingers, nonetheless, it dangled on his bottom cracked dry lip, while strands of tobacco fell. He would soon discover that lighting the cigarette was impossible without the aid of healthy thumbs. The growing frustration was maddening. Upon deeper meditation, he thought this might be a good time to finally quit smoking.

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Day Of The Tiger

Posted on March 23, 2019 by sungmokoo

If you see a Caspian tiger, odds are likely that you are a hateful tigerist. Seek help immediately, our world can do with one less you.

Paul Madriera stared at the window attempting to get the right angle so he could see the reflection of what was behind him. The timing could not have been more fortunate, for he saw a streak of orange with black stripes. He stiffened. It was a damn tiger. There was no time to figure out what the hell a tiger was doing on his patio in Arlington Heights, a suburb of Illinois, 25 miles northwest from Chicago.

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Hammer Time!

Posted on March 22, 2019 by sungmokoo

An early cameo from the king of cameos: Hamburger Helper!

Ham the claw hammer, not to be confused with Ham the piggy bank, an altogether different character from another story franchise, bolted upright from slumber to the dismay of the recently purchased Nurse Ratchet Wrench. [Further proof that tool puns are ineffective.] Since the disappearance of Phillip K. Screwdriver, Ham was unable to sleep well. This was over a month ago.

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Too Many Superheroes

Posted on March 21, 2019 by sungmokoo

What Power Squadron Inc. U.K. wished they looked like.

It was a coalition, you know, a temporary alliance of distinct parties, in this case superheroes, for joint action. They proudly named themselves, Power Squadron Inc. U.K. Initially, it was just Power Squadron, but due to litigious upstarts using the same name, and with the help of adept copyright lawyers, they settled with PSI U.K. Speaking of settling, they based their headquarters in Dover, Delaware.

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