From 1912 to 1917, Keystone Kops were the funniest act in Hollywood. 100 years later, not so much.
Benny Gondola was mortified after he opened the door on a Saturday morning. Expecting Jehovah’s Witnesses, and armed to pepper spray them if necessary, he was instead confronted by the dreaded Time Police. In unison, the two Time Policemen said, “You’re under arrest.”
Benny could not speak. He was beyond flabbergasted, yet he uttered, “For what? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
Headaches remind us of our mortality in the same way a hammer reminds us of throbbing thumb pain.
For the last eight years, Maynard Arthur’s waking hours were thoroughly and constantly overflowing with sheer disgust. So much so that he developed a permanent sneer. Unbeknownst to him, and fortunate for the free world, he owned it. If he had known of his potential strength, he would have certainly abused it. When he looked at anyone the right way, he would practically ghost slap them until they felt shame.
Gangs of kittens have successfully taken over retirement homes more times than you would think.
Out of his extraordinary peripheral vision, Simon Bagley, no relation to Jim, glimpsed a grey kitten peeking out of the shrubs. Upon closer inspection, he had discovered a litter of four and a half kittens (Maybe a third. It’s hard to tell without knowing the original mass.) They were mewling madly. Being a genuine “cat” person, he was terrified, for he knew the mother must be nearby and hell hath no fury like a mother cat.
This being a fable, you can bet your sweet petunia pie that this ant will suffer while we learn some sort of lesson.
“Hey dude, you’re blocking the sun.”
The man paused, and looked all about. “Who the what?” He was confused by the curious voice that seemed to come from nowhere.
“Down here, numb brain.” It was a common black ant. If you are familiar with the body language of ants, you would know it was pissed. Seriously.
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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