Jittery Jehoshaphat, It’s Jumping Juniper

Jumping Juniper

Superheroine Jumping Juniper is the Pauly Shore of superheroes.

As Jumping Juniper bled to death in the dirtiest alley in Hero Heights, she contemplated her current fate and found herself laughing, while convulsing and gurgling up thick blood. She did not want to die laughing, so she searched her mind for something, anything to negate the tragic comedy unfolding around her. Her choice was self-pity.

Continue reading

Verbal Gymnastics

Maker:L,Date:2017-9-22,Ver:5,Lens:Kan03,Act:Kan02,E-ve

A typical day at Trader Joe’s® is like Hawaii on barbiturates, or conversely, Hawaii is like Trader Joe’s® on crack.

Teresa Mannon appreciated the little things in life, and it is with this spirit that she chose to add an ‘a’ to the end of every word she uttered today. For example, “That’s-a swell-a.” Fortunately, Teresa was terse, so there was no risk of her sounding like a raving lunatic. For example, she would never say, “That’s-a nice-a that-a you’re-a taking-a long-a vacation-a, you-a need-a it-a.” Instead, she would just say, “Nice-a.”

Continue reading

With Great Power…

250px-Web_of_Spider-Man_Vol_1_129-1

With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes ridiculous guilt complex.

The Amazing Spider-Man returned home after a very grueling day of web-spinning, crime fighting and being chased and misunderstood by the police. He was wiped out. At last, he could be plain old Peter Parker and get some much-deserved rest. After all, with great power comes great responsibility, which includes taking care of your wellbeing. It also includes doing the dishes, but Peter Parker was far from perfect.

Continue reading

It Is What It Is And Then You Die, Right?

Dead outline body

Evelyn despised her chalk outline, it made her look fat, and overly masculine. 

It was not peculiar that she was gazing at her recently deceased body, nor was it peculiar that she was shot in the head for an unpaid gambling debt. Her blood seeped over the chalk outline. Alleged spirituality and an addiction to gambling ran fierce in her family, as did old school witchcraft and a knack for embroidery. Evelyn Woodward communicated frequently with the dead, so she was somewhat prepared for this moment. What made this whole scenario peculiar was: how does someone bet the farm on the Cleveland Browns? Who?

Continue reading