A beard is a person who pretends to have a romantic or sexual relationship with someone else in order to conceal the other’s true sexual orientation.
For the first time ever, Amber Evans was perfectly comfortable with her new job. It was simple and it paid well. All she had to do was behave as the girlfriend to local celebrity, Jack Ryde, of the number one Nielsen rated Go-Team™ of Chicago’s Action News™ in the morning.
Canadian, Alanis Morissette will be remembered as the person who destroyed civilization by defining ironic incorrectly.
On good days, which were rare and far between, we called him Ty. And on bad days, which were all the other times, he went by his full name, Tirade McRanterson. He was 27 years old with a cantankerous soul of a 72 year old. Further, he weighed over 350 pounds. Always out of breath, and created a savage harmony when he breathed through his nose and mouth simultaneously. Not as pressing, but fairly relevant, he smelled like cheese on the verge.
In the medieval age of baseball, it was not uncommon for players to lose a limb or two, sometimes three.
My baseball career was cut short when I got beaned in the head running to first base. Before you judge me as some sort of prim panty-waisted asshole, this was a time before we wore helmets, and the baseball was made of solid iron, many years before they were hollowed out.
This is something you will never see in North Korea. Ever!
Wonder was a happy-go-lucky dog, more so now, that he was free, free at last. After three long years of being imprisoned by those humanoid fucks, he could truly find himself. Actually, it was only one month, but Wonder was really bad at comprehending time. Dogs, am I right?
The sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
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