Jittery Jehoshaphat, It’s Jumping Juniper

Jumping Juniper

Superheroine Jumping Juniper is the Pauly Shore of superheroes.

As Jumping Juniper bled to death in the dirtiest alley in Hero Heights, she contemplated her current fate and found herself laughing, while convulsing and gurgling up thick blood. She did not want to die laughing, so she searched her mind for something, anything to negate the tragic comedy unfolding around her. Her choice was self-pity.

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With Great Power…

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With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes ridiculous guilt complex.

The Amazing Spider-Man returned home after a very grueling day of web-spinning, crime fighting and being chased and misunderstood by the police. He was wiped out. At last, he could be plain old Peter Parker and get some much-deserved rest. After all, with great power comes great responsibility, which includes taking care of your wellbeing. It also includes doing the dishes, but Peter Parker was far from perfect.

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Origin You Glad This Is An Origin Story?

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From the obscure comic strip, “Cowboys & Indians & Aliens & Pop-Tarts® In Area 51”. Not to be confused with the adult film, “Cowboys & Pussy”.

I was sent to prison for a crime I did not commit. Because of the color of my skin, I was sentenced to death by hard labor. I learned a difficult lesson about the unfair system of justice for those who can’t afford it. I swore on that day, I would not die in vain. In fact, I caught myself shaking my fist in the air, as if cursing the heavens.

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Super Villain Switch Up

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Kraven The Hunter was fortunate that his birth name was not Jagginoff.

On a typical day, Kraven The Hunter resides in an existence commonly known as The Marvel Universe, or Earth-616. [WARNING: ORIGIN ALERT!] He was born Sergei Kravinoff, a misguided Russian immigrant, and the son of an aristocrat. Perhaps it was this combination that turned him into a maniacal big game hunter seeking only to hunt The Amazing Spider-Man. Later, he would become the founding member of The Sinister Six, a collective of villains sworn to destroy their common foe, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

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