Category Archives: Commentary

You’re Next, Facebook®

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Shame on you Facebook® for fooling me once, twice, and thrice; and shame on me for loving that chicken from Popeye’s®.

It’s a fact; in fact, it is true. All of our Facebook® data is out there and it can’t be taken back. This, because of some stupid quiz one of your thoughtless friends took. I hope they’re satisfied knowing which Smurf they are most like. In case you’re wondering, I manipulated my answers, thus I’m Papa Smurf, the only sane one of the bunch of blue idiots. Sure, you can mope about it, and while you’re at it, why don’t you just cry yourself to death?

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Why I’d Rather Work At McDonald’s® Over The White House™

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One of these places serves you rattlesnakes, the other houses them.

I have said it once. I have said it over a hundred times, up to a thousand times. I will never work at McDonald’s®, a fast food chain corporation that thrives on the convenience factor of lazy hungry Americans by providing non-nutritional food they brazenly call a Quarter Pounder With Cheese® or Filet-O-Fish® (Is this some sort of implication that said sandwich might be of Irish descent?) I can’t imagine a worse place for employment.

To prove that I’m a somewhat pliable man, I can admit that I’m wrong. Let me tell you, admitting my shortcoming makes me blush from my head to my toes. My whole belief system changed the moment I observed the comings and goings of staff at the White House™. What a toxic environment. Which leads me to why I’d rather work for Mickey “D”.

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Thoughts And Prayers And Priorities

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Sister Jean

No athleticism required. Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt with the help of God lift Loyola over Arizona 64-62.  Image Source

Congratulations to the 11th-seed Loyola Ramblers in proceeding to the next bracket in the NCAA Tournament with an upset win over 6th-seed Miami. Before you chalk this up as an upset or a true win, it must be acknowledged that they got a little help from the Lord, via 98-year old chaplain, Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt. Thanks to her thoughts and prayers, Loyola wins with a three-pointer in the last seconds of the game.

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Gubernatorial And Raisinets®

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“It hurts when I go like this, doctor.”

It is a bleak time to watch television in Illinois. Political ads for governor, assessor, attorney general, county board president, dog catcher, and  congressman dominate the airwaves. It is annoying, repetitive, and clattering. As of February 2018, Illinois’ gubernatorial candidates alone, have raised over $133 million for their campaigns. That’s a lot of scratch, which could be better spent on fixing just about anything else. Instead, it is wasted on these sniveling politicians. Here’s an idea, half that money should go to repairing our decrepit infrastructure. This is how hungry people feel when they watch someone throw out a piece of steak.

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