The Carnival Was In Town

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One of those hard to believe, but true facts. Whence the carnival comes to town, so too, do the carnies.

You know it’s an ass of a day when you have growing empathy for a piece of dog excrement because it’s not getting as much attention from the flies as the rotting carcass of a half-eaten raccoon. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The park was littered with half-eaten cotton candy, corncobs, styrofoam and plastic-coated cups. The trashcans overflowed with crushed Mexican beer cans and wedges of dried out limes.

Where once was green grass was now yellow something or another. Large tracts of land matted down like old man hair. This was the aftermath of Hickory Heights Round-Up Days. Every year, like self-imposed psoriasis, the carnival came.

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Neither Hide Nor Hair

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When searching the word ‘peculiar’ on the interwebs, this was one of the first images to appear. 

Maria Padilla was peculiar, to say the least. But it had nothing to do with her appearance, even though she was absolutely stupid crazy for plaid, wore her bra as an overgarment, somehow cornrowed her eyebrows, and every time she was faced with a choice, her tongue dropped out of her mouth. One day, she will have it reattached.

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That New App That’s Cool, But Really Not

old school face app

The old school version of the aging filter on FaceApp. The older school version is aging naturally and taking photos every ten years.

All of his friends were doing it was the only logical excuse Justin Sheepskin needed to unwittingly register his face into a facial recognition database. How could he not help data miners? It was the latest craze. Submit a current photo of yourself into an app, short for application, and the program will generate a photo predicting how you’ll look up to 40 years in the future.

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Wolf This

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Scientists believe that few gray wolves survive in Europe by choice. Recent studies indicate that gray wolves may be more racist than realized.

“I only found one of 14 ewes alive. 13 laying on the pasture dead. It was an act of joy. It wasn’t an act of I’m hungry I need something to eat.”
Ray Calaway

The wolf was satisfied. It was apparent in the way it was sprawled out on the cool cave floor, on its back, rubbing its bloated tummy with its bloody paws. Dried brown blood caked its jaws, and for good measure and unintended dramatic effect, it belched, which was followed by a dribble of vomit. Unlike mankind, wolves cannot vomit a little in their mouths and swallow. This is what it feels like after you mutilate thirteen sheep.

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