The Greatest Underdogs

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0-10, The Gophers were always the underdog team.

“Look, wag nuts, I want to make one thing clear. When they call us underdogs, I am fully aware that some of you think it’s a good thing. It’s not! It’s just the nice way of saying we’re nothing but losers.”

Coach Rudnick hocked up a healthy hairy loogie and spit hard, before downing a bottle of water. He looked at the empty bottle and threw it at the football players.

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Do You Remember Clutch Cargo?

I am blown away by today’s animation. This must be the same feeling cowboys had when they first saw a car. If you stop to think about it, we are looking through the eyes of an elderly cowboy in his emphysema years. Look at the advances of televisions, computers, telephones, video games, marijuana, mascots, and shopping malls. Dial-up?

 

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We Are So Stupid, By We, I Mean You

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Thank God we are not responsible for our ancestors. Can you imagine having to apologize for all the stupid things they did?

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A Prayer For Alabama

alabama-county-map

Shape-wise, not as sexy as Florida, but very practical.

Dear Lord,

I know it’s been a spell since we last spoke like this, aside from the more than rare damn it, sakes, for the love of, and fuck me a new eyehole. For using your name in such flippant vain, forgive me. Just so we’re clear, I’m pretty sure we are good now. After all, that’s your thing: forgive and forget. Or was that Shakespeare? I digress.

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