New Truth In Advertising

Surgeon_General's_warning_cigarettes

Before we knew that big tobacco purposely made their cigarettes highly addictive, we were mostly worried about emphysema.

There are new warning labels on cigarette packs. This is what it says:

A Federal Court has ordered Lorillard, Altria, Philip Morris USA, and R.J. Reynolds Tobacco (the previous maker of Winston) to make this statement about the addictiveness of smoking and nicotine.

  • Smoking is highly addictive. Nicotine is the addictive drug in tobacco.
  • Cigarette companies intentionally designed cigarettes with enough nicotine to create and sustain addiction.
  • It’s not easy to quit.
  • When you smoke, the nicotine actually changes the brain – that’s why quitting is so hard

What is more important is what this “doesn’t” say. James Dean looked cool when he smoked. He controlled his destiny by choosing the technique of slow suicide. Even though, ultimately, he supported “the man”, he still defied “the man” by using “the man’s” product. In the end, he showed them what’s what by dying in a fiery car crash.

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Hey Pompous Fuck, Is This A Poem?

Sonnet_145_1609

A Shakespearean sonnet by any other name, in this case, suck and archaic.

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“Back In My Day…”

TV going off air

Back in my day, instead of inane infomercials about removing age spots and excess stomach flab at 2 a.m., we had this.

Mr. Floyd Biggenwoch took a long puff from his pipe, which looked suspiciously like a bubble-blowing apparatus, and after exhaling bubbles through the pipe’s bowl, it was made conclusive.

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Around Town With Reginald The Cat®

Around Town-Reginald

I had dinner the other night with a North Korean couple, I was surprised to learn that dog tastes nothing like chicken. Illustration ©1992 Jay Lynch

Hey humes, sorry for the lapse, but sometimes a cat has to lay low, something about hate gambling against a certain New England Patriots in the Super Bowl. Now that the asshole is out of the bag, as in Robert Kraft requesting a jury trial instead of admitting guilt to two counts of soliciting prostitution. There is allegedly video to support his engagement with hookers. This is rich white man logic. As a neuter survivor, I feel it is within my rights to say, Neuter that son of a bitch Kraft! It’s time for equal time for the crime regardless of how much money you have. But I know how your broken society works. In one ear, a vacuous nod, out the other, a hand reaches out until it is filled with money. If the hand remains empty, the poorest person goes to jail for a very long time. Sucks to be you, right?

 

Disclaimer: The viewpoints expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the opinions, viewpoints and official policies of sungmokoo.com. After all, it’s a God damn cat drawing.

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