“Wake Me Up When Suspicious Minds End” by GREEN DAY Vs. ELVIS PRESLEY

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We are indeed, living through something different in America. The root of this new wave of existence can only be blamed on current president of The United States himself, Donald “Doo-Rag® Hater” Trump. As the walls of decency closes in around him, he deflects by introducing the Space Force® and attacking the NFL for exercising America’s greatest freedom, protesting. This orange-skinned orangutan racist with deformed tiny hands that have never endured a minute of labor is the worst type of hypocrite (living). In a sane world, a man like this would be thrown in prison for his limited lying words and hateful actions. But no, he finds legal loopholes to sustain his legitimacy like a rat finds excrement in order to survive.

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Elvis Presley’s 35th Christmas

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On December 21, 1970, the meeting of paranoid minds talk about Watergate. To clarify, Elvis was greatly impressed by the presidential toilet.

If Elvis Aron Presley was anything, he was “regular” and this Christmas was no different. In fact, he was so regular this morning; he had already flushed twice. The bathroom fan was industrial as all get out, and it was doing its job loudly and proficiently. Instead of the stench of poop and urine, it was replaced by myrrh and frankincense. Elvis moaned as a turd snaked out of his orifice obscured by pearly white porcelain. There was a plop, water splashed on his unbeknownst to him, growing white ass cheeks. No one in his posse dared to tell ‘E’ that he was gaining weight. For good measure, Elvis flushed again. He laughed out loud thinking about his honor bound duty.

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Elvis Presley’s Last Christmas

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1976 was one hell of a year. In February, Elvis Presley was made an honorary captain of the Memphis Police Department. He was doing shows in Las Vegas, while working on ending a mafia drug ring. Oh my sweet Lord, that Bicentennial was something else too. On this Christmas evening, Elvis was working through constipation. There was a complicated issue of the zero in the number two, or seeing a man about unloading some donkeys.

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