Urine Big Trouble


What’s the difference between O.J. Simpson and Simba? Simba is the lion king. Simpson is an ugly chapter in our reality.


In a normal world, there is a price to pay for indecency. Subsequently, doing the right thing is rewarded. Sadly, my friends, this is no longer the case. Normalcy no longer exists in this ridiculous YouTube® society. Three years ago, if someone had told me that a world leader had been pissed on by Russian hookers, I would have laughed and laughed.

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What I learned from social media the day after Presidents’ Day

Social Media

Social media, like alcohol and raw sewage, will destroy your life if you let it.

It’s Presidents’ Day and not President’s Day. Teens still don’t want to get killed by guns! Especially of the automatic weapons kind. It’s not like there was a time when they did! There’s a Kentucky Fried Chicken® shortage in England™. A lot of parents do not like the eccentric Public Television Cartoon Caillou. I get it, there seems to be an absent back-story to Caillou’s mental illness or disability, which makes the show seem dangerously dishonest or overly coy. If he was a real boy, I am certain we’d be calling the authorities for his suspicious behavior. Speaking of, current president of the United States, Donald Trump, is smart enough to not force himself on a woman in front of security cameras. That’s like a bank robber saying, he does not rob banks in front of security cameras. In essence, there’s an admission to being a criminal. What a maroon. Bite-sized quiche is not difficult to make. In fact, I could make it. Patton Oswalt is on a book tour for a book he did not write. David Bowie was one skinny motherfucker in the day. Proof that our society is finally getting it: people who fart on planes are finally being treated like terrorists.

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