With Great Power

Afro Physicist

Courtroom artist rendering of the alleged superhero fighting crime in Chicago.

Dr. Cornelius Hamilton took a deep breath and paused, as if waiting for logic to kick him squarely in the behind and bring him back down to earth. He was more than surprised that his hands were trembling. He was actually nervous. He flexed his muscles and liked what he saw. It gave the blue and red unitard credibility to be filled out with such a sheer hard body. All the hours at the gym paid off, but not as much as the steroids. Yet, he was still filled with trepidation.

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An Untold Tale Of Aguaman

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Even with an obvious mustache, people confused Aguaman with Aquaman. This had to change.

Aguaman, not to be confused with the slightly more popular, Aquaman, was on the brink of a tantrum. He was in a meeting with Makeover Schlatz & Sons 2.0™, a P.R. firm known only for their untimely destruction of Mayor McCheese® and the accidental birth and branding of Chester Cheetah™. He wanted a new identity, one not associated with being called Mexico’s Aquaman. In fact, he wanted Aquaman to be called the American Aguaman.

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Worse For Wear

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Able to have erratic heartbeats, maintain an erection for 18 hours, and demonstrate hours of explosive diarrhea, it’s Side Effect!

He was the greatest superhero of the 21st century, and truth be told, he knew it. With each successful achievement, his humility eroded to nothing. Now the hero, once known as Side Effect, was dubbed The Cocky Side Effect Megalomaniac. In some parts of the country, he went by the moniker, Oh No, Not Another Trump Guy. All that aside, today, he faced a challenge that would alter his life forever.

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Revelry

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The origin of “dilly dilly” can be traced to Norse gods and bears.

Magno-Man lifted his stein of the hoppiest ale and bellowed, “For the past fortnight, I waged war and defeated the Malevolent Eleven on the planet Bleek. In thus doing so, I saved two galaxies!” There was no doubt his story was true, for his unitard was tattered and he reeked appropriately for one not showering for two weeks.

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