In Defense of Jazz Hands and The Kung-Fu Grip™

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According to Quincy Jones, this ugly American had sex with a mailbox. 

In a world where voices are farts, I would like to preface the following with: Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they’re all wrong.

You may call me privileged, or worst, an American, but beneath this slimy veneer, I am a dreamer, one of those stupid optimists. With this, I believe that free network television can be better. We, most importantly, I deserve it. They need to conjure up some way to even the playing field so they can honestly compete against cable television and streaming services. At this rate, the networks are taxicabs, and HBO® is the Uber®, but more expensive. The answer to their survival is simple, use cuss words after 8 PM Central Time. Before you rebut with: what about the children? Shut the fuck up.

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Stan’s Soapbox: Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus!

In September 1897, Virginia O’Hanlon wrote the following letter:

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see in the Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

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Stan Lee, Marvel Editor-In-Chief and blowhard 1975.

In 1975, the letter found it’s way to Stan Lee, the editor of Marvel Comics.

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Around Town with Reginald The Cat

 

Around Town-Reginald

Illustration ©1992 Jay Lynch

It’s been a stretch since I last mewled at you all. Meow. I didn’t think it could be possible, but things have gotten crazier since then, right? Alabama. Jerusalem. Wild fires in California. Our current president, TRUMP. North Korea. The new Fancy Feast® roasted salmon in primavera sauce, chunkier is better. It is so good. I have been known to beg for more. MATT LAUER. Pitch Perfect 3.

Disclaimer: The viewpoints expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the opinions, viewpoints and official policies of sungmokoo.com.

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Sparkle while you can, die trying Part 2

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The Seven Deadly Sins by Hieronymus Bosch.

I apologize for starting a story yesterday without concluding it properly. In my defense, we currently live in an age of digression. Against my better judgment, I succumbed. In the future, I will be stronger. I will not allow whim and whimsy to dictate my actions. Without further introduction.

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