The Apes Of Wrath

gesture_raised_fist_with_middle_finger_lifted

It is almost ironic that in North Korea, this is the symbol for I love you, man.

Her dying words were as indignant as expected. They were, “Get your fucking hands off me you God damn chinks.” Her misguided racism was aimed at three black men who tried to help her after she was struck hard by a bus. Technically, she should have been dead before she could speak her final words, but that’s how Amanda Sykes rolled. She always got the last word.

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Bert Was In A Funk

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Bert [left], a muppet, in happier times, stoned and naïve.


He knew he was being phased out. Every week, one less sketch. He had become invisible on the set. As an experiment, he stayed in his trailer the whole day. No one noticed. It was only a matter of time before he would just be an extra in a musical number.

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Lost In Time

time travel

This is exactly what time travel looks like.

I have been drifting through time of late, and it is unsettling. What I did minutes ago seems like weeks ago, and what I just did hasn’t happened yet. It’s enough to drive one mad. This is what happens when you reach a time coordinate in which you did not exist. There are many rules to time travel, follow them or die.

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Got Your Nothe

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Sign language for I am a moronic dope.

It has come to my attention that kids say the darnedest things, but more often than not, the kids don’t know when to shut the fuck up. But, it should go without saying, use your responsible adult ear filters and listen to your child when necessary. Especially when they say, “Get off me. I’m suffocating.” Or “Don’t leave me in this hot car.” Or “My left arm is going numb.”

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