The Alternate Batman

Posted on June 6, 2019 by sungmokoo

In this alternate universe, The Batman has a very short lifespan.

In your puny universe, a very young Bruce Wayne witnessed his father, and especially his mother get shot down by a hoodlum, by the name of Joe Chill in Gotham City’s Crime Alley. On that fateful day, a boy also died, and a vengeful man was born, and he would become The Batman.

While his intentions were true, he inadvertently turned the city he’d sworn to protect more dangerous. The presence of The Batman inspired nutcases to come out of the woodworks to commit outrageous crimes just to become famous. Being a criminal in Gotham was not much different than being a contestant on The Voice or American Idol. But this is your asinine reality.

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Haircuts Matter

Posted on June 3, 2019 by sungmokoo

Don’t be a Dopey McDoperson dolt. Do something before you destroy your life, because haircuts define you.

There was no denying it. Franklin Nathaniel Stein was a different man after a good haircut, for the good. Conversely, after a bad haircut, he was nothing more than a run-of-the-mill cantankerous curmudgeon. That was four months ago. Perhaps a coincidence, probably not, the man who butchered his hair, Vince Pattitucci, no longer lives and breathes.

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The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

Posted on June 2, 2019 by sungmokoo

Comic-Con_2010_-_the_insanely_long_(and_sunny)_line_for_the_2nd_Scott_Pilgrim_vs_the_World_movie_screening_(Friday)_(4874444109)

To best understand this story, one must imagine this line and then multiply it by gazillion squared twice, and then minus seven or eight.

As consciousness returned, he found himself standing in a very long line of people. He had no recollection of how, why, where, or what. After about an hour or so, he categorized this whole affair futile. But, he had little to no choice. Wait or step out of line. When he looked behind him, the line was much longer than the one in front of him.

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The Alternate Superman

Posted on June 1, 2019 by sungmokoo

In this alternate universe, Stuperman is overtly ignorant. So much so that he spells stupor as stuper. This is his origin.

Jak-el and Burro, prominent Kraptonian mega-scientists, who were also married to each other, feared this day would come, but not this soon. They weren’t ready. They only had time to build one small prototype of a rocket to escape. If only the science council had listened to their pleas to stop drilling, instead of mocking the couple by drilling willy nilly to prove some kind of point, even the dentists. Now their planet is hopelessly vibrating itself out of existence. As they embraced, knowing their days were numbered, they turned to their baby son, Guz-el, who was sleeping soundly in what can be best described, a futuristic Ikea® crib.

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