The Alternate Batman

Batman_global_2

In this alternate universe, The Batman has a very short lifespan.

In your puny universe, a very young Bruce Wayne witnessed his father, and especially his mother get shot down by a hoodlum, by the name of Joe Chill in Gotham City’s Crime Alley. On that fateful day, a boy also died, and a vengeful man was born, and he would become The Batman.

While his intentions were true, he inadvertently turned the city he’d sworn to protect more dangerous. The presence of The Batman inspired nutcases to come out of the woodworks to commit outrageous crimes just to become famous. Being a criminal in Gotham was not much different than being a contestant on The Voice or American Idol. But this is your asinine reality.

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The Alternate Superman

other alternate superman

In this alternate universe, Stuperman is overtly ignorant. So much so that he spells stupor as stuper. This is his origin.

Jak-el and Burro, prominent Kraptonian mega-scientists, who were also married to each other, feared this day would come, but not this soon. They weren’t ready. They only had time to build one small prototype of a rocket to escape. If only the science council had listened to their pleas to stop drilling, instead of mocking the couple by drilling willy nilly to prove some kind of point, even the dentists. Now their planet is hopelessly vibrating itself out of existence. As they embraced, knowing their days were numbered, they turned to their baby son, Guz-el, who was sleeping soundly in what can be best described, a futuristic Ikea® crib.

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“Enjoy The Silent Skyfall” by ADELE Vs. DEPECHE MODE

Adele - Depeche Mode
Welcome to an alternative universe where Adele is the lead singer for English electronic band, Depeche Mode. Before you assume this may be a better world, it is important to bear in mind that this world has ice cream that tastes more like ice than cream, and the president of the United States is Howie Mandel. By the by, he makes current president of the United States, “Dung Heap” Donald Trump look like a fascist orange-skinned moron.

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