What I learned from social media the day after Presidents’ Day

Posted on February 20, 2018 by sungmokoo

Social media, like alcohol and raw sewage, will destroy your life if you let it.

It’s Presidents’ Day and not President’s Day. Teens still don’t want to get killed by guns! Especially of the automatic weapons kind. It’s not like there was a time when they did! There’s a Kentucky Fried Chicken® shortage in England™. A lot of parents do not like the eccentric Public Television Cartoon Caillou. I get it, there seems to be an absent back-story to Caillou’s mental illness or disability, which makes the show seem dangerously dishonest or overly coy. If he was a real boy, I am certain we’d be calling the authorities for his suspicious behavior. Speaking of, current president of the United States, Donald Trump, is smart enough to not force himself on a woman in front of security cameras. That’s like a bank robber saying, he does not rob banks in front of security cameras. In essence, there’s an admission to being a criminal. What a maroon. Bite-sized quiche is not difficult to make. In fact, I could make it. Patton Oswalt is on a book tour for a book he did not write. David Bowie was one skinny motherfucker in the day. Proof that our society is finally getting it: people who fart on planes are finally being treated like terrorists.

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Goodness Gracious, It’s Confucius

Posted on February 20, 2018 by sungmokoo

Confucius [551 BC – 479 BC] said, “It is not over until it is properly concluded.”

On that fateful day, Confucius walked into the forest to gather his thoughts. The sky was gray as if it reflected his mood. Discovery must occur each day, or we are as stagnant as the rice water in a dead man’s bowl. He looked at the ground and eyed the ripest apple he had ever seen. He picked it up and held it up to the sky, examining it with great scrutiny. Confucius was very judgmental, in fact, his peers commonly called him the town asshole. It was not uncommon to hear, “Shut the fuck up, Confucius.” It was also not uncommon for Confucius to respond with, “No, you.”

Yellow had never known such vibrancy. This could not stand. He felt a profound emptiness in the pit of his stomach. There had to be a better word to define all this beauty. He would get all up in there and come up with something befitting, as sure as his name was Confucius, because that is how Confucius do.

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“Heaven Must Have Sent You, It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me” by THE ELGINS Vs. BILLY JOEL

Posted on February 18, 2018 by sungmokoo

Elgins-Joel
I would like to present, a mash up, a mixture or fusion of disparate elements, like Adam and Eve, like Nixon and anything else, and it goes something like this. A-one, a-two, a-one a-two a-you know what to do.

For all you Americans out there, Happy Presidents’ Day, although technically, it is still officially called Washington’s Birthday by the federal government. And they would know.

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Trump, Confucius & The Cowardly Lion

Posted on February 17, 2018 by sungmokoo

Putting the lying motherfucker back in The Cowardly Lion.

If this were a Carnac the Magnificent joke, (A fictional clairvoyant character from The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.) which it is definitely not, the punchline would be: Name three things that don’t know when to shut the fuck up. It’s not funny, but it’s true, which is a lot better than 80% of those Carnac jokes, because I used the word fuck.

It is the saddest time to be an American, so sad, and as depressing as that may be, there is yet an impossible chasm of despair to wade through to correct our eroding civilization. It is time to reinstate true courage into our nation, for when the definition of courage gets convoluted and reorganized by alternative facts™ and ludicrous jingoism, a nation further divides.

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